Photo Friday - vehicle

I have been viewing Photo Friday as a website for a few weeks and thought about taking up the challenge - not because I think I have any particularly great photos to display but purely for fun and to set myself a challenge each week unrelated to what I do for the rest of my time.

I do aim to go out with the theme in my head and the camera in my hands but this week is a bit if a cheek as I already have the photo from when the Tour de France cycled through Gillingham. I like the mix in the photo of vehicle, speed and the look of bewilderment of people as they watch the cyclists speed through. I remember we all waited nearly an hour and then hundreds of cyclists and their cycles sped past us in about 60 seconds!

Some things only make sense in the dark!

I caught these pics over at Dave 'wannabe' Green's blog the other day and I kept hold of them because they intrigue me; no doubt they can be illustrations to some sermon I preach at some point in the future. I just smile thinking of people puzzled this graffitti during the day ... and then totally delighted by it's cleverness during the night.

I've been finding interest in these pictures because I reckon darkness gets a pretty bad press in the Christian world .... and yet I like the dark! For myself, the quiet and secret of the darkness is an environment in which I find it easier to connect with God.

It's in the secret dark places that seeds give birth to amazing plants and trees. It's in the darkness of cinema auditoriums where I am amazed at God speaking through Hollywood media.
It's in the darkness of the womb that the creator and saviour of the universe grew secretly to become the God child.
It's from the darkness that everything was created.

Sometimes the only place something makes sense is in the dark!

prime time loving (the girl next door)

Just read this stunning and clever poem from harry baker over on jonny's blog.
You really need to go and have a read!
I can sense the proud admiration pouring from Mr Baker senior!

those the church don't want!

"Don't go to start a church . . . go to serve a city. Serve them with love, and if you go after the people nobody wants, you'll end up with the people everbody wants".
Steve Sjogren, VCC Cincinnati, from the book The Externally Focused Church

caught this over on Andrew's blog ... don't need to add anymore!

Early Fresh Expressions?

TEDDY BOYS HELP CHURCH

I love this video too (click on the pic to go to the page to start the video) - thanks for the heads up Ian

armour or flesh?

A  little while ago I posted about my preparation before going on to the streets and hanging in the coffee bar or pub. The time of prayer was quite Paul-ine in its method and based on the God's armour passage in Ephesians 6.

I have a new spiritual director and when she heard this, Sister Martha, a Dominican nun in Greenwich, seemed to raise her eyebrows (that may have been my imagination) and made a simple observation of surprise that I was praying for protection and using the armour imagery. It was a brief moment which I should have dwelt on, but I allowed it to pass.

This has been niggling at me for a while but it has not been until quite recently that I have had time to reflect, and I guess it is the approach to Christmas, and in particular the pending onset of Advent that has caused me to wonder what Martha may have been questioning and why I have started to become niggled with what I was doing.

I think it may be summed up in the word vulnerability.

I am questioning whether I have been preparing myself as well as I could or whether I have been concerned too much with my own safety. I wonder whether I should be praying for armour, or asking for sensitivity and eyes and hears to hear what is happening. Armour, it seems, sets up a false human made barrier and does not allow me to be me. If I am wanting to genuinely build relationships for the sake of just building relationships then I can't really do that through protective armour ... can !? If I go wearing God's armour I don't go on equal terms, and if I don't go on equal terms then I can't build genuine relationship. If I can't build genuine relationship then I ask what is the point of going at all?

I have been thinking a lot about Advent over the last few weeks as we seek to try and encourage people to take a pause and reflect as they pass through the cathedral during the Christmas Dickens weekend.  There is something about the God child that shouts to me of vulnerability!

Here we see the Son of God, with no protection, totally at risk and relying on the protection of his created creatures to ensure his safety. Jesus in the flesh ... quite literally and uncompromisingly. Vulnerability in a total sense - all of God's plan invested totally in the vulnerability of this child. No armour to protect, no hoards of angels to fly in heavily armed to ward off risks ... just a 100% human, 100% fallible human God child.

I think as we follow Jesus through the gospels that this vulnerability appears over and over again, culminating in his trial where he refuses to defend himself. He stands silent in face of false accusations. We see again a vulnerable Jesus whose immediate destiny is in the hands of those he created. There is no self protection here at all let alone talk of God's armour.

I am coming around to thinking that my preparation before venturing out needs to be more an acknowledgment of my vulnerability and the fragility of who I am with prayers concentrating more on helping me see where God wants me to be and who he wants me to be with rather than prayers of concern for my protection.

it's not just about belief ...

I have the newsletter for Spirited Exchanges UK emailed to me each month. The lead article's opening words drew me in:

The Christian faith is not only about beliefs, it is also a way of ‘living and moving and having one’s being’. And to do that it should actually be more about how we nurture our soul and develop our spiritual connection - doing the things that bring life and transformation. In most evangelical, Pentecostal and charismatic churches it has traditionally been expected that Christians develop that through Bible reading, prayer and worship. For people who start to move away from conventional beliefs and values, these practices cease to be life-giving and have meaning. One person termed itmthis way: “Faith practices that once had meaning for me, no longer do.”

How does one find pathways that bring life when everything seems to be unraveling, when you are developing a different basis of thinking about these things?

Below are some suggestions that may be more useful. You can read more here or go the the Spirited Exchanges website and ask them to put you on their mailing list.

twitter pride

I was pleased and proud to see this tweet the other week on Twitter from Sarah Brown.
This refers to the staff at the school I am a governor at and they were called to Number 10 to meet the PM and Sarah.
It's good to see the government marking and acknowledging success - and Judy and Jo are cool but they would be the first to say they represent the whole staff on New Brompton College.
If you want to see the pic of Judy and Jo with Gordon, Sarah and Paul, our MP, click here.

remembrance

It was Remembrance day today in the UK.

At the cathedral this is a pretty large event with representatives from all the armed forces, the emergency services and civic dignitaries.

As I get older I find this service to be more poingant as I look around the cathedral at the young faces in uniform full of potential and life which also contain a healthy and correct fear of death. These men and women are incredibly brave for, despite the real fear, they go to war. This year in particular the service seemed to be even more emotional.

I pray, as I believe countless others do, that this war in Afghanistan can be brought to some peaceful conclusion very soon so that we may see our young men and women return home to those that love and miss them.

One way?

Today has been another day of firsts.

This morning I went to my first ever BCP communion service. In hindsight I probably should have gone to one before today as I was presiding and had no reference points to work from! The language of the prayer book takes some getting used to as there are so many words of traditional form.

I was rescued by Phil, the Canon Pastor, who pointed me in the right direction so it all went smoothly in the end. On reflection, though, the service is simple in its wordiness. It challenges us to think before we take communion and calls upon us to examine ourselves, which can't be a bad thing.

Following BCP was the Cathedral Eucharist which I presided at and which I still see as an immense privilege to play any part in. Although very different to BCP but both an expression of that joining around the table with God himself. Both were valid and both spoke to me in different ways.

I guess in a way my reflections on today have reinforced my thoughts on moving away from the hardened belief in one system only being the right one: one correct belief pattern, one correct Eucharistic practice, one correct way of being church. There are a variety of valid ways and I wish we could see that more regularly and openly rather than feel we need to protect or stand up for our preference.

Surely there must be some ways (rather than one way) that we can talk about our preference while we still give value to the preferences of others?

Can it really be that hard?

try not to let the moment pass

It's been a little while since I have shared much of what is happening on my travels. This is mainly because things move quite slowly. There are things happening which are encouraging to me, but will probably seem quite mundane to others and so the 'story' does not appear here. For example; I was very encouraged the other day when a someone I walked past said good morning to me! That seems pretty mundane and nothing to write home about.

If I put that in context that I have seen this guy every day for the last 15 months and have been given the totally clear message to stay away and take my religion elsewhere which has been backed up with piss taking comments and low level threatening behaviour. A smile and a 'good morning vic' is, for me, a massive step forward in the realms of starting to become accepted as a person.

As far as what I do, I spend a lot of time being present in places. As I am present I continue to be available to listen or chat - depending on who I meet and where I meet them.

I am seeing more and more in my wanderings and in my 'just being around' that God speaks through people massively and seems to work incredibly through the mundane. By mundane I do not mean boring, but I do mean ordinary. The stuff that we do each day on automatic and not really notice as we do it. From my experience and in my particular setting it's through normal everyday stuff that God seems to work and its through normal everyday situations that I seem to be finding evidence of God moving in peoples lives. I reckon that we miss a lot of what God is doing because we are looking for God only in the spectacular. It's true that it is really easy to see God in an amazing sunset ... but it is also possible to see God in a corner of a coffee shop or bar, if only you remember to look. The sunset and the cafe are both within the creation of God.

Currently I am reading Draper's Spiritual Intelligence and I am being struck again and encouraged by his words of encouragement to find space to simply be and rediscover who you are by listening and noticing yourself. One way that he says we can do this is to try to notice what is happening around us. Draper has the view that most of the time we allow things to pass us by and we don't notice God because we walk around with our eyes closed to what is happening. He encourages 'try to notice what is happening; try not to let the moment pass'.

When we are particularly touched by what people say, or a lyric in a song, or a scene in a film in a way that makes us think Draper reckons we need to dwell on that moment and experience it, asking ourselves why that particular incident has moved us or pulled us in some emotional way. Too often, he suggests, we like the feeling but then get distracted by whatever comes along next ad the moment is totally missed. As we take time to consider and really notice stuff I think we start to see more of how God is working in the real world with real people in real ways.

I think this connects with words from Taylor's Primal Vision who talks of people not being fully in the present. By this he means that people are always concerned about what next and rushing on to the next thing and do not live in the present. Rather than being present, they are elsewhere in thought and sometimes even action given away by body language. When people are concerned about future time and stuff then they are not 'fully there' in the conversation they seem to be having. I loved this quote of Taylor's:

'The Christian, who stands in that world in the name of Christ, has nothing to offer unless they offer to be present, really and totally present, really and totally in the present. The failure of so many 'professional' Christians has been that they are 'not all there!'

I think there has been a change in my ministry. I used to talk about sitting and observing, which in some ways sounds very passive and nosey. I still sit but I think now I sit and search. Observation is more general it indicates a looking for anything and noticing any and everything of what is going on. Search, on the other hand, speaks more of looking for something in particular, and I am not just looking generally, I am looking with that focus to see what God is doing and where he is doing it! When I notice something, I now work on trying to be really present with it, rather than try to plan or think what next. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but little of what I do makes entire sense!!

It is clear to me though that as I attempt to be present I find it amazing that as I slow down, search and reflect I notice more and more of what is going on around and seeing more and more of how God is working within different aspects of his creation.

If you are looking for a personally challenging and interesting red then Spiritual Intelligence is worth looking at and I've just noticed that Amazon have it at priced 30% off at the moment.

Beach Hut Advent Calendar

A few people have drawn my attention to Beyond Church in Brighton are doing the Beach Hut advent thing again as last year (you can still see the BBC news report on lasts years event here). This year, as well, so the rest of us can enjoy the experience they have published a paper Beach Hut Advent Calendar.

I ordered mine which arrived yesterday and simply everyone that has seen it has wanted one and ordered it. It just looks beautiful and will be a great addition to our house in the Advent season.

You can check it out here but I guess if you want to order one you'll need to be quick as I can't see these hanging around for long!

COTA trip

A number of you have asked me whether my Seattle trip which I blogged about here is going ahead.

Apologies for not saying earlier. The trip is happening, the flights are booked, I have my ESTA authorisation and am getting excited at the thought of sharing with the COTA community in January. I fly to Seattle on Jan 13 and will land at Heathrow on Feb 4th. All I can say is 'cooooolm and big big BIG thank yous to all the people that have helped this to happen - you are stars!!

It's not that far away timewise as Christmas will speed things along .... I'll say more as we get closer, and no doubt a lot more on my return!

more on women bishops

Maggi points to some petitions supporting women bishops. You can sign these if you, like me, want to see this happen as soon as possible, and as equal bishops with the other bishops that already hold office - rather than the ridiculous idea thought up by someone who though it acceptable to have women bishops on a different (lesser!!) level than men bishops. A bishop is a bishop, male or female, is equal in the sight of God and as soon as people get to grips with that then the better for us all!

Anyway to sign go click a link below depending on who you are:
you will sign something like: 'we ....support having women as bishops on the same basis as men are bishops and we urge the Revision Committee to prepare the draft legislation with a code of practice, as requested by General Synod in July 2008, in time for General Synod in February 2010.'

For women clergy sign here

For men clergy sign here

For the laity (male or female!!!) sign here

I guess this is a good place as ny to answer those people who have shown surprise that I have not commented on this offer from the Roman Catholic church. I guess I have not commented because, to be frank, I'm not really that interested. If people wish to leave a church that embraces diversity and welcomes discussion and join one where one person is allowed to make all decisions unchallenged then so be it.

The reason I mention it here is because it is my honest hope that this will enable General Synod to go back to its original decision which agreed women bishops without alternative arrangements. The pope has made this offer to help out those who oppose the move ... so I don't wish to be insensitive but can we please move on now to what the overwhelming majority of Synod voted on after due though, discussion and prayer.

I look forward to our first woman bishop ... be great of it was in Rochester!!! Shame it won't be :-(

running like sparks through the stubble

This morning I was on the rota to lead matins t 8.00am and the Eucharist which follows at 8.30. Today, being All Souls day, meant the Eucharist included a 'commemoration of the faithful departed'. For the last week or so the cathedral has had a book of remembrance available for people to write the names of loved ones that have died. Today was an opportunity for people to remember them as I read out each of the names after the Eucharist.

This type of service was a first for me (a year and a bit into cathedral/a bit more traditional life and I thought I would have stopped saying that!), and something that I thought would be another privilege to be involved in. I was particularly struck by the first reading which was from the Wisdom of Solomon in the Apocrypha.

But the souls of the righteous are in the hand of God,
and no torment will ever touch them.
In the eyes of the foolish they seemed to have died,
and their departure was thought to be a disaster,
and their going from us to be their destruction;
but they are at peace.
For though in the sight of others they were punished,
their hope is full of immortality.
Having been disciplined a little, they will receive great good,
because God tested them and found them worthy of himself;
like gold in the furnace he tried them,
and like a sacrificial burnt offering he accepted them.
In the time of their visitation they will shine forth,
and will run like sparks through the stubble.
They will govern nations and rule over peoples,
and the Lord will reign over them forever.
Those who trust in him will understand truth,
and the faithful will abide with him in love,
because grace and mercy are upon his holy ones,
and he watches over his elect.

I found the words particularly helpful as I remembered those I know that have died and love the language of 'running like sparks through the stubble'. I am not sure I entirely understand this; what does 'the time of their visitation' mean? To me, this does not speak of death, but speaks of energy, creativity and is quite evocative in its vibrant imagery. This has challenged me today in my theology of how I view the 'saints departed' and widens my understanding of 'joining with angels and archangels and all the company of heaven' which we say quite often in Anglican Eucharistic prayers.

it's what I do!

Its been a while since I have spoken about my travels and my pioneering stuff. I am conscious, too, that a few people have joined me on this journey via the blog over the last few months and read from a distance but join while not fully knowing or grasping what I think is going on or what we are trying to achieve.

The under girding philosophy of what I am feeling called to do may be found in a short article that I have called 'the dream'. This can be accessed in the right hand bar of the blog or by clicking here. The dream is then added to in an article I wrote here for Fresh Expressions. A little while ago I wrote a prayer letter (too long ago and so I will be writing a new one soon) which shows some of the reality of what I am involved in. If you are interested in that as well you can read that here.

Essentially those articles talk a lot about the exciting things and the privilege I genuinely feel of the stuff that I am fortunate to experience and be part of. I have a tendency, however, to play down the tough side of the role that accompanies those who have a task of 'creating church' with nothing and no one to start 'creating' even to the extent of not knowing where to create either. Some have suggested I put those thoughts and what I think I may have learned into a book - maybe one day I shall think about that.

There are a number of ways of attempting to build church and a number involve church planting. While that is a model that produces church it is not a model that I am trying to use or follow in my ministry. I rate the model (please don't think I don't!) but it is not a model I feel called to use. Church planting, per se, produces plants which are very similar to what we have already. They may be new hybrids, but the agricultural terminology gives the clue that what grows in a plant will be similar to the place from where the seed has come from.

I guess I am attempting to create a different expression, something that does not exist here in the area already and so there is not really anything to draw seed from. Rather than planting and growing in the way of a church plant I have the words of Bono more in mind in the U2 song 'Walk On', particularly the words:

You're packing a suitcase for a place
None of us has been
A place that has to be believed
To be seen

And love
It's not the easy thing
The only baggage
That you can bring
Not the easy thing

I'm on a journey, with others, to a new place, where none of us have ever been and a place that has to be believed to be seen! So, when I am out and about I am searching with my suitcase for people who might want to join me on this journey. I'm not out to coerce, to convert or to force people in to a model of something that already exists. I am searching for fellow travelers who search for that new place. What I am finding is that God is starting to bring me into contact with these people because God, it seems, is working in the lives of these people and its clear that church, as it currently exists, just ain't gonna work for them. Is this fresh expression of church, is it emerging church, is it neither or both ... I don't know and actually not sure I care at this point in time.

I do find it interesting, though, that some people I have come into contact with have been reconnected to church in the cathedral expression and while I did not expect people I met 'out there' to start attending the cathedral regularly just shows that God is working in may different ways and at many different levels in peoples lives. I guess that's why I search and observe rather than seek to convert - if I just go out and 'do what I do' it's up to God to organise the rest.

OPM in Rochester

I'm obviously a bit behind the times in just realising that I am one the monthly stories over at Emerging church info.

If you don't know - this gives a good account of what I am up to ... although there have been some developments since the story was written back in May. I'll write more when I feel the time is right.

and i walked in to the darkness

I visited the Tate Modern today particularly to experience the latest installation in the Turbine hall, Miroslaw Balka's 'How it is.' It's worth a visit and while there I wrote some words:

and i walked in to the darkness
boldly going
where half the Tate Modern had been before
sinisterly drawing on my vulnerability
summoned
allured
inhaled
into its cavernous ebony abdomen

sitting apart,
all ears to my impenetrable surroundings.
the anxious hubbub of others discovering a path
strangers finding their way
tentative echoes
nervous laughter
uneasy questions

and then
the memories of past mortals
pulped into morbid carriages and containers
dreaming of freedom
until their realisation of horror

where are they taking me?
what is going to happen?
a total historical darkness
stretching beyond the temporary
assaulting the blindness of our minds

blindness we are content with?
the alternative requiring us
TO ACT!