don't sink the boats - sink the BNP!

I just had an email alerting me to this interview given by Nick Griffin where he states that he would would support civilian boats being targeted, fired upon and sunk. You can watch their exchange here.

This man needs to be exposed for what he really stands for - it is shocking that he will be representing our country in the European Parliament. That's what happens when people choose to opt out and not vote!

the authority of Nazareth

Adrian gave me an excellent article to read a while ago as part preparation for my ordination to the priesthood. The article is comprised of two talks given under the title of 'Authority of Ministry' given at the Dean's conference in Chichester earlier this year by Revd Dr Sam Wells.

The talks are excellent and Wells looks at the different kinds of authority represented in the priesthood which I found very interesting. I got particularly excited, however, towards the end of the speech when Wells starts to talk about we restore authority where authority has been lost due to being abused or misrepresented.

He argues that there are three approaches to restoring some form of authority.
One way is by working for people. This is quite common in all areas of professional life where we train and get good at what we do and then use our skill to try to resolve problems on the behalf of others. This may make us feel good, but it quite often leaves the recipient feeling deskilled and devalued in some way.

Wells says the second model is working with people. This can make for good partnership as long as the agenda is set by the person in need. This is more a relationship based on equality, recognising that the journey is as important as the destination.

Wells suggests a third model, which resonates with me in a significant way. Wells calls this being with which acknowledges that some things are not problems and some problems simply can't be fixed. 'It means having the patience not to search around for the light switch, but to sit side by side for a time in the darkness' and 'learning to be with people is learning to treat people as if every day were their birthday. Being with is just that - spending time being with people not to fix them, or to instruct them, but being with them for no other reason than wanting to hang out with them.

He looks at these models and compares them to the shape of Jesus' life. I find this illustration particularly powerful:

'So Jesus spent a week in Jerusalem working for us, doing what we can't do, achieving our salvation. he spent three years in Galilee working with us, calling us to follow him and work alongside him. But before he ever got into working with and working for, he spent 30 years in Nazareth being with us, setting aside his plans and strategies, and experiencing in his own body not just the exile and oppression of the children of Israel, but also the joy and sorrow of family and community life'.

Wells calls this the Authority of Nazareth. May we both experience and develop more in the way of the authority of Nazareth.

the 4th gathering

This weekend saw the the 4th gathering of our community. I guess we will need to come up with a name for ourselves at some time - but at the moment we simply talk in terms of gathering together.

We gathered on Saturday afternoon at our home to consider what Jesus was on about when he called himself the bread of life, particularly in John 6. I wrote a meditation to help our thinking which you can see here if you are interested (be helpful to have comments as well!)

It was stunned again by how things simply seem to work. The atmosphere is relaxed, children dip in and out, both adults and children relating what we hear to our lives and asking that ever important question 'so ... how does that effect my life in the real world today?'

As part of this gathering we looked back and chatted a little about how things were going and where we are heading too. We were able to make a decision about when we meet, which will be during the afternoon of the second Sunday of the month. We shared that we like the discussion format we have, the permission there is to ask questions and how it is ok to not have all the answers. This is particularly healthy for children to see.

One issue very soon will be space as we grow. We like meeting at homes as it helps to include the children, and this will be a greater challenge if we move anywhere bigger which is not a home.

Other issues revolve around what we do. We are trying to develop church here and yet there are things that we do not do which we feel makes up church; such as worship in any form and sharing the Eucharist. I guess I am nervous about the latter too as I believe there is scope to be creative within the CofE rules but to keep integrity I believe I need to chat with the bishop first for his guidance.

So ... I think we are at an exciting stage as we look forward and we welcome your prayers and any comments you may have.

climb time

Today has been another pretty normal, but incredible, day.

I had a chance of sitting with the guys at the local again today and we entered into some good conversations about life. One of them came to the ordination service and apparently that has been a topic of conversation for the guys while I have not been around. The 'event' seems to have intrigued them and seems to be causing a lot more conversations.

As I said the other day ... everything has changed, and yet nothing has.

I am still the same person, I still visit the same places, I still feel pretty much the same; but ... something does seem to have changed in my relationship with these people. It may be my imagination, and it may be wishful thinking or just a case of looking too hard; but it does feel like some line has been crossed.

Lots more people seem to want to talk. Today someone shared some family photos with me after I joined their group. I am still not sure if this is acceptance into the group (I'm not too sure what acceptance would look like?) but this, combined with being allowed to buy drinks for people and having drinks bought for me, does seem to mean I am at least somewhere on that road of acceptance. I am not fully part of their group in their eyes, but I am no longer excluded and on the outside.

A friend pointed me recently to the end of Mandela's autobiography where he writes about his life journey going up a hill. He pauses to look behind him and he realises that he has come a great distance. But as he turns to continue to look forward he realises that there are many other hills he has yet to climb....

I'm currently wondering what hills there will be to climb over the next few months

A Proud Evening

Last night I had the pleasure of attending the Achievement Evening of New Brompton College in my capacity as chair of governors. The evening was amazing with a mixture of prize giving and performing arts from different groups of students.

The quality of the performances was amazing and it seems to be getting better and better each year. As I sat and watched beaming smiles from young people receiving awards, heard the applause of students, staff and parents and saw the talent of our performing arts groups the voice from the Eucharist of 24 hours ago whispered ... 'how have we got here?'

Peter Holbrook, of the Sunlight Development Trust, was our guest speaker for the night and was right to speak of the past and remind us that the school some 6 years ago was one which the students were embarrassed to be associated with. As someone who has been linked in some way with the school since 1996, initially through Gillingham YFC and now as governor, I remember this only too well.

The picture is the complete opposite now. New Brompton College is a school where students grow and achieve. NBC is a school in which the students, staff and governors are immensely proud of. I spoke to a few parents last night who were not only proud of their young person's achievements but also excited by the opportunities there are for them as we continue to move forward.

We have got here, in the space of 5 years, because of the dedication, commitment and hard work of the headteacher and her senior management team, backed to the hilt by the whole school staff and of course by the students who have chosen to respond to the staff that have complete confidence and belief in their abilities.

Last night was an amazing evening I left incredibly proud to be connected with our school.

How did we get here?

It was a real honour to be at St George's Greenwich last night to join with Jeremy as he presided for the first time at the Eucharist. I've traveled the SEITE journey with Jeremy and there have been key moments that the friendship of this guy have kept me on the 'straight and narrow'. Jeremy has become a good trusted friend and so being there last night was important to me. Not only is he a special bloke, but his family are totally wonderful too.

Jeremy had asked Canon Grahame Shaw to preach on this occasion and he asked the question 'how have we all got here?', wanting us to consider, I think, our life journey to this point so far. It is an interesting thing to reflect upon and I think, for me, I also need to consider the thought 'where have I come from?'.

I am amazed how, by looking back over my journey this far, how little decisions have had major consequences. One little decision of going to Warwick University rather than join the RAF meant I met Sarah, not only my lover and best friend - but a soul mate in many ways. If I had not met Sarah at 18 I am fairly sure that I would have lost my fledgling Christian faith which then was a mere few months old.

Likewise on SEITE if I had not met Jeremy, and a few others that won't remain nameless (Dave, Jen, Babs, Nic Nic) then I wonder whether I would have completed the course.

So ... today as I travel to the final KCME session of the year in Canterbury, while I sit on the train I shall be reflecting upon that question ... how did I get here?

everthing has changed - and yet nothing has

I woke up on Sunday morning a priest! How weird does that sound!
The whole experience is still pretty strange to get my head around.
I guess the best thing I can say is that I am still taking it all in.
It's the end of a very long journey, and the start, I guess, of a new journey or at least a new direction of my journey altogether.

I said earlier to someone that I feel like everything has changed, and yet nothing has changed. That sounds strange but in some way makes an odd kind of sense to me.

The weekend has been amazing: ordination, followed by presiding at the Eucharist has been quite an emotional experience. As the service progressed I was struck by an increasing sense of privilege that it is to preside and be able to serve people in this way. It was special to be able to share in this special meal with many friends and family. It was not until I got home and was nearly asleep that I realised that in all the emotion of the moment that I forgot to take the bread and wine myself - clearly I need to remember that one in the future!

I felt Bishop Brian did an excellent job and both his charge to us on Friday evening and his sermon at the ordination really hit me. In his talk on Friday he reminded us that we are to delight in God. A delight in God should mark my ministry and so be distinct from the world around.

He also spoke a little about mission and worship being totally interconnected. As I listened I think I focussed on what he was trying to say: some churches are imbalanced with a focus on worship style or a focus on mission. Worship should come from mission and mission should flow from worship. It's both/and not either/or.

In the sermon Bishop Brian gave a clear instruction - we are not to be busy. We are not to be so busy that we lose sight of people. We are not to be busy so that we have no time for people. We need to be with people. This is one thing that was aprticularly ringing in my ears as the service came to an end.

The weekend was special - thanks loads to all of you that joined me on the day, some traveling great distances, and to an even bigger number of you who have been part of this amazing journey over the last few years. Thank you for your patience with my ability to frustrate, your love when I was downhearted, your encouragement when close to giving up, and your friendship which has meant an immense amount to me.

God bless you all.

my beautiful daughter is 13 today!

I'm back from retreat, I am a priest and I have presided at my first Eucharist and I will write more about that in the week.

Today though is a very special day in the Ryan household as ....

Beth becomes a teenager.

Happy 13th birthday Beth - I love you loads!

When we returned to Gillingham in 1996 Beth was just a bump - and now she is a beautiful and talented 13 year old. I can't believe how much we are all proud of her and love her.

Have a fantastic day!

On retreat

Today is the day of our ordination rehearasal after which we travel to Crowhurst Christian Centre for our retreat until Saturday when we return to join our families for lunch at a reception with Bishop Brian before then moving to the cathedral for the service at 3.00pm.

It all seems to have come around very quickly.

I'm not sure if I will be able to blog at Crowhurst so I don't know of they have wifi. Nevertheless I will be reflecting while I am there on the ordination service and what priesthood is about and how it is different to being a deacon.

Please hold my family in your prayers while I am away - and I look forward to seeing some of you on Saturday or Sunday.

getting in retreat mood with Ardbeg

Today has been a day of very strange emotions.

We prayed a lot this morning as we had an 'incident' with a person who had not been taking their medication which resulted in the police needing to be called to section the person concerned. For the first time in ages I felt quite worried and scared for my personal safety and the safety of others in the cathedral at the time. The person is normally lovely and it was very sad seeing the effect of not taking the drugs that clearly help normally.

Later in the pub a good few people wished me well for Saturday as most were aware I am off on retreat tomorrow in preparation for ordination on Saturday afternoon. It was an interesting and quite surreal experience - unexpected and quite heart warming. I don't really understand what is happening between me and this group of people, if anything, but there seemed to be a desire for things to go well.

This afternoon I received a phone call from Beth's school as she had fallen and hurt her wrist. We went to casualty and after a wait x-rays showed her metacarpal to be fractured which is now strapped and awaiting a visit to the fracture clinic next week. Beth is doing fine and everything will be ok.

This visit was another quite weirdly emotional experience. Beth and I were an oddity in that we did not seem to have the whole family, including grandma, with us. I iid you not - this seemed to be very much like a day out for many people and was quite disturbing. The casualty department looked quite full with about 40 people in it .... but when I counted there were only about 10 patients with the other 30 or so family memebers. maybe I am being unkind, but it did seem weird.

More distressingly, many of these people seemed very needy and sad in themselves. I just felt a great sense of broken spirit in a negative way; these people seemed to have lost their self belief, their dignity and I felt very sad for them. That sounds patronising but it is not meant to be - I wanted to cry in prayer with God for these people.

It has really hit me today as I prepare to go away on retreat tomorrow how needy of love the world is. I became acutely aware that I cannot provide that love and that only God can. I realised that my role is to stand in the midst of this and just be available, and that that availability leaves me vulnerable.

As I ponder that further I am now sitting and relaxing with a great glass of Ardbeg! God's true way of ending an evening.

a ticket

Today was a pretty normal day, apart from one incident that has pretty much amazed me and is leaving me a little confused.

One of the regulars at the pub said on Friday that they would like tickets to come to the ordination service on Saturday. This was after I outlined to the group in our general conversation how long the service could be and what it entailed. Others had already said they would like to come, but other events are happening in Medway that day, such as the Armed Forces day which looks to be a major event. A number of these men are spoke to are ex-military and so they are involved or going to this event.

I sat today in my normal place and the man who wanted tickets was not there. He is always there and so this concerned me a little. I was surprised, but hoped that he was not embarrassed that he had asked and now was trying to avoid me. I decided that was daft as he is the sort of guy who would easily and calmly say something else had come up.

Just as I was leaving the guy turned up - he was running late and said he was worried that he may have missed me before asking if I had two tickets for him. He now has them and is looking forward to coming to the cathedral.

I'm not sure what is happening here; is this a desire to support me, is it intrigue at what a service will look like, or is this an opportunity to visit the cathedral knowing it will ok because he has tickets to come in? Is there a certain security in having tickets to enter a church building? Does the possession of a ticket make stepping over that threshold all the more easier? Does having a ticket signify being a guest, with the knowledge and security that being a guest goes hand in hand with being welcomed? Does the ticket simply show those checking tickets that you have a right to be here because someone has given you one of their tickets?

I'm unsure about the answer, if there is one, and maybe it is a combination of the three - whatever, I still find it quite interesting that someone that would not attend church normally wants to attend what could be quite a long service.

I'm famous

A good friend, Ben, was out on detached work in Gillingham the other week and found 'my tag'.
Clearly I'm famous!
Despite the rumours I am not the creator!
If it was me it would have been far more subtle and creative!
Nice to know someone loves me enough to pspray my name though ;-)

your last Sunday as a deacon!

I walked into the cathedral library this morning to robe to be greeted with 'well... your last Sunday as a deacon!' It's true, and yet it sounds and feels quite strange as well. It's been an interesting few days, and a really good weekend. It's my last weekend before I become a priest, and I have found myself looking at things slightly differently over the last few days.

I am looking forward to this week, and I step into this week with some apprehension. This time last year I was finishing training and this very weekend was the leavers weekend. It is weird to think only a few months ago we were contemplating being ordained deacons, and the time has rushed past and here I am, priest minus 6 days!

It has been a long journey, for me I guess over a few decades which has just accelrated over the last 5 years or so. This week will bring the time into a sharper focus. On Wednesday we will start our retreat as a group of curates at Crowhurst before we return to Rochester on Saturday for the ordination service.

For me it feels like a completion is about to occur. As the date has got closer I have had a increasingly greater sense of being incomplete. In the past God has spoken to me through this to show me it is time to change. This time the change involves becoming a priest.

As I step into this week, I will be stepping carefully, wondering more, watching and listening. I will hopefully get to meet people in Wetherspoons in the early part of the week (some of whom have asked for tickets for the ordination service which bowls me over with amazement). But as I walk, I will be continuing to ask and reflect upon what this completion entails.

If you get a chace, please pray for me and the family as this week unfolds.

It's my birthday

64 today
does she cry?
does she wonder?
when will she be released?

remember Suu Kyi in your prayers today
Our God is a a God of Justice
Let justice come ...

change your picture!

Dear friend

On Friday 19th June, it will be Aung San Suu Kyi’s 64th birthday. She will spend her birthday detained in the notorious Insein Prison.

On May 18th Aung San Suu Kyi was put on trial, charged with breaching the terms of her house arrest after an American man, John Yettaw, swam to her house and refused to leave. The dictatorship are using the visit as an opportunity to extend her detention.

Her trial has now been adjourned until 26 June. Aung San Suu Kyi has already spent more than 13 years in detention and faces another 5 years in prison.

DEMONSTRATION
Please show your solidarity and join us outside the Burmese Embassy in London from 1-2pm on Friday 19th June.
19A Charles Street
London, W1J 5DX
Nearest tube: Green Park

Solidarity events will be held worldwide. Click here to find out details of events taking place near you.

SEND HER A BIRTHDAY MESSAGE
You can leave a message of support here.

More than 9000 people have now left a message, video or tweet calling for the release of Aung San Suu Kyi, and all of Burma’s political prisoners.

Celebrities from around the world have sent messages, including George Clooney, Yoko Ono, David Beckham, Julia Roberts, Daniel Craig, and Richard Branson. Stephen Fry, Eddie Izzard, Kevin Spacey and Sarah Brown have been “tweeting” about the campaign.

As well as celebrities, the website has received political support featuring video messages to Aung San Suu Kyi from heads of state including British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, Mohamed Nasheed, President of the Maldives and President Jose Ramos Horta, President of Timor-Leste.

Post your message now http://www.64forsuu.org

Thank you for your support

Johnny Chatterton
Campaigns Officer
Burma Campaign UK

PS. If you’re on Facebook or Twitter, we’re asking everyone to put Aung San Suu Kyi as their profile picture until her birthday. You can download the image here.

my wednesday

The meeting with Bishop Brian and bishop's staff seemed to go well this morning. It was great to see these people giving good time to pioneer ministry and asking questions that led be to believe this is definitely high on their agenda. Clearly it is something I feel passionate about and I hope this is an early stage in the diocese coming up with strategy for pioneer ministry - that would be a really cool achievement.

Catching up with colleagues of the past at the YFC meeting in London was also a great experience. It always surprises me how the buzz of London really excites me; I could feel my energy levels rising as the train pulled into Victoria, and walking from Euston to CTIE just made me regret a little that I do not come to London as much as I used to.

The purpose of this day was to ask some good questions as YFC is in a key time of its ministry. I was particularly interested by the discussion we had around recruiting trustees - these people are key to things continuing and it's an area where good investment is needed. It was also good to chat with friends - and to see that YFC really is the family organisation that it thinks it is!

A curry with these wonderful people brought a great end to a good day.

a big wednesday!

Wednesday's are not always great days for me; they are days when I find I have to be really disciplined as it is normally a 'study' day and to be honest I really want to be back amongst the people I am slowly getting to know.

I realise however that study days are important in that they give me time to reflect and force me to consider in more detail what is happening. I think it also serves as a mini break as spoken of a few days ago. While it is painful to be away, the break allows some form of growth to occur.

Today, however, is a different Wednesday. In a couple of hours I a attending the Bishop's staff meeting as he wishes to talk about pioneer ministry, hear from me about my first 10 months, and consider the way forward. It is a good opportunity to thank them for the opportunity but also to share the realities of the questions we need to be asking for the future - which for our diocese I think are about strategy and investment. It is also a great opportunity to share the stories of the last few weeks that I have blogged about - stories of interactions that have only happened after 10 months of daily visiting and stories of interactions that I do not think would have occurred with anything less.

I hope this meeting goes well and the people that can make decisions for proper investment in pioneer ministry.

After this I am joining others from YFC in London as we have a planning day for Local Ministries of YFC. I am really looking forward to meeting people I have not seen for a while and engaging with others as we look to see how we can creatively serve YFC as it moves forward in a new way.

Certainly not a normal Wednesday for me - and the first Wednesday I have looked forward to for a long time!